Its name sends shivers up the bravest warrior's spine. The legendary evil castle, ruled by the dark lord Dracula, has been the setting of many, many scary games, filled to the brim with zombies and demons and
Hi, I'm the Skeleton Medalist! I run face first into walls and drop a ring that turns you into a green bear that farts missiles!
...Right. Like I was saying, this terrifying collection of games is chock full of some of the creepiest, bloodiest creatures in any video game. The Castlevania series has
I'm Persephone! I don't do much except clean the castle and lift up girls' skirts!
Quiet down guys! I'm trying to tell everyone how scary these gam
Would anyone care for some delicious curry?!
That doesn't even make sense! Why are you all being so ridiculous?!
I hope I'm not late. I'm not very good at flying just yet!
GAH!!!
Alright, that's it. Screw the spooky atmosphere, the Castlevania games are clearly a comedy series.
While it is true that the Castlevania games are full of gruesome, scary things, it is equally true that they are also full of silly things. And it doesn't just extend to the above creatures: There are many items, weapons, and bestiary entries that exist purely to get a chuckle out of the player. For every Beelzebub:
There is a Skeleton Ape:
For every oozing demon that you slay, there is another one behind it getting ready to drop things like buckets of pudding or paper airplanes. Our heroes have been known to fight the swarms of undead with things like cream pies and teddy bears stuffed with iron sand and defend themselves with aprons and sunglasses.
How has nobody else called this out yet?!
Am I really the first person to notice how batshit insane some of this is? Granted, I only recently noticed this myself, but really. What started out as the ultimate collection of spooky-but-not-outright-scary games has been reduced to unadulterated lunacy. Clearly, to know Castlevania is to know madness.
But I guess at its heart, its not too bad. I mean, it is still a series about powerful vampire hunters fighting the forces of darkness to the death. And that's pretty badass, right?
My name's Maria! I killed Dracula with the help of my animal friends!
I quit.
All images were supplied by the Castlevania wiki. Thanks guys! Don't be mad, k?
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